The title says it all. In the wake of a recent loss someone I know just had and the anniversary of my loss, it's only right for me to talk about it....
I will never forget the day I took that pregnancy test and it read positive. It actually wasn't the test that told me I was pregnant wit Sofia, it was the one that informed me I was pregnant with my first child. It was last September early a Sunday morning. Alex had gone to get us lunch. Before he left he has asked if I was pregnant and I politely laughed. Yeah, right I thought. Seriously though. How could that even possibly happen. It actually wasn't the first time he had asked....
He come home from his deployment in Iraq July 15th. That was such a joyous day for me.I was thrilled to have my love back. Shortly afterwards we went to Texas to visit his family. Let's just say it was all around a fun time. :D I was super tired the entire time I was there, which I attributed to partying and staying up late at night. I was also super nauseous. My breast were uber tender, which again I had a reason for. I threw that off to me getting my period soon, which by the way never came. He asked me in Texas did I need to test, because I apparently had all the signs. Blah. I laughed.
....continue Anyway I took the test and and forgot about it. I went to the restroom and low and behold 2 lines I wasn't super sure what it meant, so I texted Shenika and Sondra the 2 lines. Shenika text back asking what it meant and I wasn't sure I was in shock that I had to look to make sure that 2 lines meant pregnant. Sure enough it did! AHHH scream and insert all the curese words possible. How on earth did this happen.
From that moment on I was thrilled and scared and everything else. I was so nervous trying to tell my mom. The next 5 weeks were amazing and awesome. A few weeks after /i woke up and I noticed a pinkness. I told my mom, she assured me not to worry, and stated she pretty much had her period the whole time she was pregnant with me.
I ended up going to the ER three time. The first time the doctor told me that he didn't see anything, but my levels were high an to come back in 2 days if my levels had doubled it looked viable. Friday morning I got up and went to the hospital, while my levels didn't double they went up a lot. The new ER doctor told me he didn't see why this wouldn't go on to be a healthy pregnancy. I was happy for the moment. Saturday happened and I was just trying to stay calm.
Sunday, my world just began to fall apart. Its was unraveling. I was losing way to much blood, and I just couldn't stop crying. We went to the Er again the doctor checked me and he said he didn't see any tissue, just clots so he was still hopeful. I had an ultrasound and had to wait a while only to be told that my levels had gone down and that my uterus was no longer holding the child it was filled with blood.
I was devastated. I never felt such hurt in my entire life. I was done for the next week. I felt totally empty inside. I can only describe the hurt I felt in measure to the amount of joy I felt hen Sofia was born.
I truly would never wish that kind of loss on anyone.
I will never forget the weeks the angel baby was growing inside me,
Friday, October 28, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9/6/11 Such a Special day!
As some of you know, Friday August 26th I went to Labor and Delivery. I went in was check and was at 4cm. I stayed over night, had not progressed and left Saturday morning with the option to get my water broken. Wensday I had an appointment and Sharon checked me and she could stretch me to 5.
I was slightly sad I had to miss my cousin's wedding Saturday, but that's another story. I would have loved to walk all weekend but Tropical Storm Lee had other plans. Sunday came and went. Monday arrived ( labor day) also my god son's birthday ( also born on Labor Day). I wished for labor that day. I started contracting around noon. I sat in the tub for a little while. I got out and laid down, but I was in pain. I went to labor and delivery and she checked me and I was still stretching to 5.
I walked for an hour, came back and I was at 6 cm. They admitted me to the hospital. I walked some more and some how got to 6.5 cm. Around 1 am I was at 7. The nurse was sure that by 4 I would be at 8 so they could break my water. but Alas I was still at 7. Around 8am I was checked and I was still at 7. So 830 900 they broke my water.
around 10 30 or so the contractions became unbareable and I was screaming in pain on the inside. I could barely stand or walk. I had to be carried to the bathroom. Finally at 1 pm -2 I was check and I had become 8/9 cm. I stayed that way until 6 pm or so.
My midwife came in to talk to me because she was super concerned about what was going on. She said I was having abnormal labor and called it Prolonged Active Labor. Also somehting about my contractions working against each other to not open my cervix like it was suppose to. I was super exhausted and sad. She said she was going to get the doctor to talk to me about what was going on. He informed me I could still possibly have the baby vaginally, but it was going to take some work,and I may end up having a c section. I needed to start some pitocin. I was totally depressed.
Everything I had hoped for was going out the window slowly but surely. My mom had enough and went home to shower ( we had been there alsmost 2 days and nothing). I was spaced out laying in the bed and i just kept feeling like I had to go #2 I told the nurse and she said that was an awesome sign, and she'd be back to check me after 2 contractions. I assured her nothing was going on, and that I really needed to go to the rest room. So much for 2 contractions. It was an hour later when Shannon walk in with the nurse and she checked and screamed with excitement that I was ready to go at 10 cm. I asked her if she was for real.
Hell it has been 2 full days of not much progression why would this one me any different. My mom still hadn't made it back, but Alex called and my dad said she wasn;t there. He called her cell phone and nothing . Shannon told my cousin Shavon to grab my left leg, and told me to push when I felt a contraction. As I was about to push my mom walked in and again another scream of excitement.
I pushed for maybe 5 contractions, and then my little princess was here. In less than 10 minutes my life had changed...
Sofia Adele Betancourt. Born September 6,2011 at 9:50 pm. weighing 6 pounds and 10 ounces. 19 and three quarters inches. I was in love!
I was slightly sad I had to miss my cousin's wedding Saturday, but that's another story. I would have loved to walk all weekend but Tropical Storm Lee had other plans. Sunday came and went. Monday arrived ( labor day) also my god son's birthday ( also born on Labor Day). I wished for labor that day. I started contracting around noon. I sat in the tub for a little while. I got out and laid down, but I was in pain. I went to labor and delivery and she checked me and I was still stretching to 5.
I walked for an hour, came back and I was at 6 cm. They admitted me to the hospital. I walked some more and some how got to 6.5 cm. Around 1 am I was at 7. The nurse was sure that by 4 I would be at 8 so they could break my water. but Alas I was still at 7. Around 8am I was checked and I was still at 7. So 830 900 they broke my water.
around 10 30 or so the contractions became unbareable and I was screaming in pain on the inside. I could barely stand or walk. I had to be carried to the bathroom. Finally at 1 pm -2 I was check and I had become 8/9 cm. I stayed that way until 6 pm or so.
My midwife came in to talk to me because she was super concerned about what was going on. She said I was having abnormal labor and called it Prolonged Active Labor. Also somehting about my contractions working against each other to not open my cervix like it was suppose to. I was super exhausted and sad. She said she was going to get the doctor to talk to me about what was going on. He informed me I could still possibly have the baby vaginally, but it was going to take some work,and I may end up having a c section. I needed to start some pitocin. I was totally depressed.
Everything I had hoped for was going out the window slowly but surely. My mom had enough and went home to shower ( we had been there alsmost 2 days and nothing). I was spaced out laying in the bed and i just kept feeling like I had to go #2 I told the nurse and she said that was an awesome sign, and she'd be back to check me after 2 contractions. I assured her nothing was going on, and that I really needed to go to the rest room. So much for 2 contractions. It was an hour later when Shannon walk in with the nurse and she checked and screamed with excitement that I was ready to go at 10 cm. I asked her if she was for real.
Hell it has been 2 full days of not much progression why would this one me any different. My mom still hadn't made it back, but Alex called and my dad said she wasn;t there. He called her cell phone and nothing . Shannon told my cousin Shavon to grab my left leg, and told me to push when I felt a contraction. As I was about to push my mom walked in and again another scream of excitement.
I pushed for maybe 5 contractions, and then my little princess was here. In less than 10 minutes my life had changed...
Sofia Adele Betancourt. Born September 6,2011 at 9:50 pm. weighing 6 pounds and 10 ounces. 19 and three quarters inches. I was in love!
Monday, July 11, 2011
First joys of being a Mommy!
So last Friday was my first birthing class. We were late, but we made it. I loved it. I just felt really connected to Alex. We watched a video about women using medication while delivering. It was interesting. We also went through the stages of labor and dilation. We did a relaxing exercise and I used the pregnancy ball, which is one of the things I plan to use as part of my relaxing and pain management. Next week we are planning on watching a med free birth, which I'm totally excited about watching. Being as natural as possible with little to no interventions is my ideal plan. I know things can happen, but i don't want anything being introduced when there is no medical reason not to.
It has been so hard trying to find bedding. I thought it would be as easy as finding her nursery furniture, but it hasn't. The moment I saw the Savannah collection by Munire, I knew it was the one. I tried looking at other cribs and furniture. I went to numerous stores, but nothing. It was the one. Haha, I guess it could be comparable to finding that one perfect wedding dress!! ( we'll see in just a couple of months). Bedding on the other hand, not so easy. I saw a few things that I liked at Baby&Me, but some of them were outrageously priced like the Nava's Pink Sandcastle which is $1600. I about lost it. haha Glenna Jean has been a contender. I knew I didn't want those huge flower, or animal prints. I wanted something girly, but pretty and sorta of elegant. I think I am finalizing on the Paisley Nursery set from PBK (Pottery Barn Kids) I really do love it. The colors are very bright and vibrant. I love the hint of paisley on the bumper and the pink dot sheets. The quilt is perfect and not over whelming. I'm getting her name monogrammed in the sham. Now I just need to find a mobile to go with it.
There were also paper lanterns and paper peonies mounted on the ceiling. I stole that idea.
Thursday is my first day with the La Leche League, and I'm totally excited. I breastfeeding support group. I can't wait to meet the other ladies.
You know, I always wanted to be a mom, but its so scary, nerve wrecking, and exciting all at once. I can't wait to meet my little princess. I love her so much already. I'm ready to give up all the other stuff just for her. She recently found my ribs and now she's going to town on them.
That's all for now.
It has been so hard trying to find bedding. I thought it would be as easy as finding her nursery furniture, but it hasn't. The moment I saw the Savannah collection by Munire, I knew it was the one. I tried looking at other cribs and furniture. I went to numerous stores, but nothing. It was the one. Haha, I guess it could be comparable to finding that one perfect wedding dress!! ( we'll see in just a couple of months). Bedding on the other hand, not so easy. I saw a few things that I liked at Baby&Me, but some of them were outrageously priced like the Nava's Pink Sandcastle which is $1600. I about lost it. haha Glenna Jean has been a contender. I knew I didn't want those huge flower, or animal prints. I wanted something girly, but pretty and sorta of elegant. I think I am finalizing on the Paisley Nursery set from PBK (Pottery Barn Kids) I really do love it. The colors are very bright and vibrant. I love the hint of paisley on the bumper and the pink dot sheets. The quilt is perfect and not over whelming. I'm getting her name monogrammed in the sham. Now I just need to find a mobile to go with it.
There were also paper lanterns and paper peonies mounted on the ceiling. I stole that idea.
Thursday is my first day with the La Leche League, and I'm totally excited. I breastfeeding support group. I can't wait to meet the other ladies.
You know, I always wanted to be a mom, but its so scary, nerve wrecking, and exciting all at once. I can't wait to meet my little princess. I love her so much already. I'm ready to give up all the other stuff just for her. She recently found my ribs and now she's going to town on them.
That's all for now.
Monday, June 27, 2011
I guess I'm a heathen!
Yes I believe in love ( depends on the day). I'm very liberal in my opinion except when it comes to abortion ( I'll save that for another day). I'm also very religious. Even though I was raised Catholic, and am a practicing one. I consider myself very open to the ideas, and posibilities of other religions, cultures, and ways. I know my relationship with God, and it's mine alone. There is not a book on this planet that can define and put my as a model for how to be a good, perfect Christian. I'm sure you are wondering where this is going. Well let me just start out saying. My Christian laws don't follow my man ( government ) laws. I get it, I understand it. If you don't I think there is some miscommunication between the part that says sepereation of church and state. Yes, somethings are bound to overlap, while others never need to even be thought about in the same sentance. I want to congradulate the states that have made it possible for 2 people regardless of gender who love one another get married. I am fully and very aware of my Church's stance on the situtation. I disagree with them, and I'm ok with it. They aren't killing anyone, harming anyone, or hindering anyone. So why does someone else's love for another have anything to do with you.
Instead of keeping people who ACTUALLY love and care about one another, how about we work on making sure people are actually meant to be together. The divorce rate in the country makes me want to vomit in my mouth. The symbol for it, is suppose to be the ring, uniting two wholes into one, a nonending circle of love and all of that. In my head, its being treated more like a necklace. You can just unclasp it, and take it off when you get tired of it, or don't want it. I have a problem with religious people not allowing people of the same gender to marry who they want, but won't say a word about someone getting or wanting a divorce. I see no stones being thrown at them. Hell most of these hypocrites probably had premarital relationships as well. They don't want to talk about that. Its ok for the to have a past. ( even though you and I both know your past is also your current). These people just can't have a nice life of love.
Instead of keeping people who ACTUALLY love and care about one another, how about we work on making sure people are actually meant to be together. The divorce rate in the country makes me want to vomit in my mouth. The symbol for it, is suppose to be the ring, uniting two wholes into one, a nonending circle of love and all of that. In my head, its being treated more like a necklace. You can just unclasp it, and take it off when you get tired of it, or don't want it. I have a problem with religious people not allowing people of the same gender to marry who they want, but won't say a word about someone getting or wanting a divorce. I see no stones being thrown at them. Hell most of these hypocrites probably had premarital relationships as well. They don't want to talk about that. Its ok for the to have a past. ( even though you and I both know your past is also your current). These people just can't have a nice life of love.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Enough is enough
I'm going to vent on this one. It's a personal vent. Feel free to comment or post in response to what i have to say.
Any who, I've had enough. I've been a wet blanket for a long time, and I'm tired of it. I don't take up for myself enough. It's my fault I let it go on for this long. I let people walk all over me in the past, but I've had enough. I never let guys do me any kind of way, but I've let family and friends do it. I've let them say whatever they want, an treat me any kind of way. I just don't have the energy to care about pleasing other people anymore. Nothing will change unless I want it to. I'm going to stop caring about friendships that aren't their anymore, family members I've just grown apart from.
I've learned that you can't force relationships. It really doesn't matter how much history you have with a person, it can all go out the window one day. I'm a kind and gentle person. I can have a slight attitude sometimes, but it's not who I am. Most of the time instead of telling people how I really feel about something, I save face and say nothing. I let my insides burn, to keep other people from possibly feeling like crap. I do know however, for some people it doesn't matter if I told them how I really felt, that it would have much of a reaction from them anyway.
I've also learned it doesn't matter how much you are there for a person, you can still be placed on there back burner. I will not be neglected anymore. I do think its funny that a person can say and do me anything, but when I say something back, I'm the one with the problem, or somehow I'm disrespecting them. Am I mistaken, but didn't you just come at me. ha.
I'm going to stop breaking my own heart. I may but to much stock into some of my relationships, maybe I expect to much out of them. In one of my recent classes, the guest speaker noted that you should treat people how THEY want to be treat, not how you want to be treat. Well I'm going to stop treating how I want to be treated, because at the end of the day, I hardly ever get treated the way I want to.
Apparently ignore isn't the best tool to use. I'm not sure which one is better. Reacting gets you stooping to their lever, but apparently ignoring does to. So I guess pretending is the way to go. That's where I have the problem. I was always trying to save face, and kiss other people's asses, but at the end of the day it still got me no where except for most of the time at an even lower playing field. Everyone experiences life differently.
I've come to learn that while some people may have good intentions, they fail horribly at delivery. Myself included.
I'm not really sure where this is going, because like I said I'm venting. I just needed to breathe and get some other this off my chest. Sometimes I think that living on an island alone would do me tremendous justice.
By the way being nice doesn't get me a damn place, except walked over. Oh, you're so nice, um ok and what's next, nothing.
I'll be back with something more positive hopefully next time . Until then.
Any who, I've had enough. I've been a wet blanket for a long time, and I'm tired of it. I don't take up for myself enough. It's my fault I let it go on for this long. I let people walk all over me in the past, but I've had enough. I never let guys do me any kind of way, but I've let family and friends do it. I've let them say whatever they want, an treat me any kind of way. I just don't have the energy to care about pleasing other people anymore. Nothing will change unless I want it to. I'm going to stop caring about friendships that aren't their anymore, family members I've just grown apart from.
I've learned that you can't force relationships. It really doesn't matter how much history you have with a person, it can all go out the window one day. I'm a kind and gentle person. I can have a slight attitude sometimes, but it's not who I am. Most of the time instead of telling people how I really feel about something, I save face and say nothing. I let my insides burn, to keep other people from possibly feeling like crap. I do know however, for some people it doesn't matter if I told them how I really felt, that it would have much of a reaction from them anyway.
I've also learned it doesn't matter how much you are there for a person, you can still be placed on there back burner. I will not be neglected anymore. I do think its funny that a person can say and do me anything, but when I say something back, I'm the one with the problem, or somehow I'm disrespecting them. Am I mistaken, but didn't you just come at me. ha.
I'm going to stop breaking my own heart. I may but to much stock into some of my relationships, maybe I expect to much out of them. In one of my recent classes, the guest speaker noted that you should treat people how THEY want to be treat, not how you want to be treat. Well I'm going to stop treating how I want to be treated, because at the end of the day, I hardly ever get treated the way I want to.
Apparently ignore isn't the best tool to use. I'm not sure which one is better. Reacting gets you stooping to their lever, but apparently ignoring does to. So I guess pretending is the way to go. That's where I have the problem. I was always trying to save face, and kiss other people's asses, but at the end of the day it still got me no where except for most of the time at an even lower playing field. Everyone experiences life differently.
I've come to learn that while some people may have good intentions, they fail horribly at delivery. Myself included.
I'm not really sure where this is going, because like I said I'm venting. I just needed to breathe and get some other this off my chest. Sometimes I think that living on an island alone would do me tremendous justice.
By the way being nice doesn't get me a damn place, except walked over. Oh, you're so nice, um ok and what's next, nothing.
I'll be back with something more positive hopefully next time . Until then.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Sofia, My Darlin'
On December 23rd, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I POAS and what do you know? Two lines appeared and I was shocked as can be. I guess it was the best Christmas present a mom could ask for. Even though I saw those two lines, I still didn't believe it.
I wanted to make sure everything was started early this time. I had a miscarriage in late September, early October of 2010. It broke my heart so bad, and was truly the worst time in my life. I never knew I could be so attached to something in such a short period of time, but I had been. I'd lost it, and I would never get to meet that baby on Earth. I loved it from the moment I found out. It wasn't just a clump of cells, it was apart of me. It was apart of Alex.
I made my first appointment. Soon after I went and they just talked to be, and checked me out. I started ( TMI WARNING )spotting the next week, I flipped out. I went in the next morning and the doctor check me out and said that my cervix, was just irritated. He squeezed me into an ultrasound anyway to make sure. I went in thinking I was around 9 weeks at this point. The ultrasound tech instantly said I wasn't anywhere 9 weeks and that I was more like 6 weeks. I turned blue, I just knew this wasn't happening to me again. I was 13 weeks last time when my uterus began expelling my child. She wiggled around some more and we learned that I was 7 weeks and 3 days, and what do you know. I heard little Sofia's heart beating away. She was pumping out a healthy 155 BPM. I instantly cried. I was so overwhelmed with joy, that I couldn't control myself.
The tech actually thought she saw a set of twin, but as you all know, there is only one. From that day on, I wanted to protect her from everything. I heard all that I needed to hear, and that was the heart. At around 8-10 weeks I began feeling the nausea, I could not even get out of bed I was feeling so sick. Lots of dry heaving, and nothing coming up. My head was spinning, smells were driving me crazy. My favorite foods became my worst enemy, and my favorite, Ice Cream, was a no go. I didn't even want it. I tried to force myself, it just wasn't happening! Then the throwing up started, I actually felt some relief from it. The dry heaving was stupid, and now I could actually get it out.
That didn't stop until after 20 weeks or so. At my 15 week appointment it took her a while to find the babies heart beating with the doppler, but we got it. I left all of my appointments a happy camper.
I'll be honest. I didn't really want to use the doctor's office. I wanted a midwife. I've done my research over the year, and I felt more comfortable going that route. After going to the doctor I just never felt comfortable with them. My doctor, just threw me to the side like old trash after the first 2 appointments, and sending me to the NP. That pretty much hurt. She was nice, but the wait was not worth the time spent in her office. I'd wait for over an hour just to be seen for 2 minutes.
My gender ultrasound was scheduled for my 19 week appointment. I had the feeling that this child growing inside my womb was a girl. I was right, My baby was a girl, and she was looking pretty healthy. I decided a few weeks earlier that I would go with my right mind, and I would have this baby via midwife. So after my 23 week appointment I officially made the switch to Sheridan at Garden Park.
Let me just tell you, I was totally caught off guard walking into the office. It wasn't very nice in the inside compared to that of Hattiesburg's office. The clients seemed very disshoveled among other things. The nurses had urine cups all lined up in the room in front of you, and that bathroom, well I'm not going to go into that. Well I met with Sheridan for the first time, and I instantly knew that I would love working with her. She talked to me forever, and answered any questions I had. I didn't feel rushed. Instead, I felt as though my birthing plan was going to go into action. We have a lot of the same goals as far as birthing my child. I was so happy we were/are on the same page.
So today I went in to take my glucose test with 4 other girls, 3 of which threw up and I passed mine with flying colors. At 11:15 I had an ultrasound. Sofia, was measuring a little ahead, and her legs were measuring 2 weeks ahead. YIKES I'm going to have a long baby girl, she also weighed 2 lbs and 7 oz
I wanted to make sure everything was started early this time. I had a miscarriage in late September, early October of 2010. It broke my heart so bad, and was truly the worst time in my life. I never knew I could be so attached to something in such a short period of time, but I had been. I'd lost it, and I would never get to meet that baby on Earth. I loved it from the moment I found out. It wasn't just a clump of cells, it was apart of me. It was apart of Alex.
I made my first appointment. Soon after I went and they just talked to be, and checked me out. I started ( TMI WARNING )spotting the next week, I flipped out. I went in the next morning and the doctor check me out and said that my cervix, was just irritated. He squeezed me into an ultrasound anyway to make sure. I went in thinking I was around 9 weeks at this point. The ultrasound tech instantly said I wasn't anywhere 9 weeks and that I was more like 6 weeks. I turned blue, I just knew this wasn't happening to me again. I was 13 weeks last time when my uterus began expelling my child. She wiggled around some more and we learned that I was 7 weeks and 3 days, and what do you know. I heard little Sofia's heart beating away. She was pumping out a healthy 155 BPM. I instantly cried. I was so overwhelmed with joy, that I couldn't control myself.
The tech actually thought she saw a set of twin, but as you all know, there is only one. From that day on, I wanted to protect her from everything. I heard all that I needed to hear, and that was the heart. At around 8-10 weeks I began feeling the nausea, I could not even get out of bed I was feeling so sick. Lots of dry heaving, and nothing coming up. My head was spinning, smells were driving me crazy. My favorite foods became my worst enemy, and my favorite, Ice Cream, was a no go. I didn't even want it. I tried to force myself, it just wasn't happening! Then the throwing up started, I actually felt some relief from it. The dry heaving was stupid, and now I could actually get it out.
That didn't stop until after 20 weeks or so. At my 15 week appointment it took her a while to find the babies heart beating with the doppler, but we got it. I left all of my appointments a happy camper.
I'll be honest. I didn't really want to use the doctor's office. I wanted a midwife. I've done my research over the year, and I felt more comfortable going that route. After going to the doctor I just never felt comfortable with them. My doctor, just threw me to the side like old trash after the first 2 appointments, and sending me to the NP. That pretty much hurt. She was nice, but the wait was not worth the time spent in her office. I'd wait for over an hour just to be seen for 2 minutes.
My gender ultrasound was scheduled for my 19 week appointment. I had the feeling that this child growing inside my womb was a girl. I was right, My baby was a girl, and she was looking pretty healthy. I decided a few weeks earlier that I would go with my right mind, and I would have this baby via midwife. So after my 23 week appointment I officially made the switch to Sheridan at Garden Park.
Let me just tell you, I was totally caught off guard walking into the office. It wasn't very nice in the inside compared to that of Hattiesburg's office. The clients seemed very disshoveled among other things. The nurses had urine cups all lined up in the room in front of you, and that bathroom, well I'm not going to go into that. Well I met with Sheridan for the first time, and I instantly knew that I would love working with her. She talked to me forever, and answered any questions I had. I didn't feel rushed. Instead, I felt as though my birthing plan was going to go into action. We have a lot of the same goals as far as birthing my child. I was so happy we were/are on the same page.
So today I went in to take my glucose test with 4 other girls, 3 of which threw up and I passed mine with flying colors. At 11:15 I had an ultrasound. Sofia, was measuring a little ahead, and her legs were measuring 2 weeks ahead. YIKES I'm going to have a long baby girl, she also weighed 2 lbs and 7 oz
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Good, the Bad, and the Children
It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, my love for kids. I've been there done that. I've been the babysitter, the nanny, the "mom". I get it! They crack me up and are so adorable. Yes I am currently expected my first child, a girl named Sofia. They are the perfect little creations that we have produced. They can brighten up our lives and bring smiles to our faces when all hope is lost. They make me feel like a kid again, and remember what it was truly like to be innocent.
I do however take issue when it come to public spaces. Yes, you have a child and you have a right to take them where you want to. Everyone has there own opinions on the matter, but I'm going to share with you mine. I would like to pose this quick question, what happen to the times of adult time and finding a babysitter? What happen to those days? I hate it when I go to the movies and there is a baby or child making noises( its inevitable) and for that matter adults who just can't shut up. Do you see this turning out ok for the rest of the theater, I don't. I won't ever be bringing my baby to the movies. I can perhaps see and probably will engaged in taking older children to see movies that are appropriate for them. If its a child's movie, why yes by all mean bring your spawn.
Restaurants! Can I eat my meal in piece. No I don't think its cool that your child is standing in the booth turned around and playing in my hair. No I don't its ok for your kid to throw a fit, and start screaming while I'm trying to enjoy my dinner. Again, if we are at Chuckie Cheese, or any other "child friendly" place, I have no issue. Its designed for children, no reason for me to be upset.
Church... I recently informed my family I will not be taking Sofia to Mass until she is old enough to control her behavior. I have sat in church one to many times with misbehaving children and whining babies. Honestly it's not the baby's fault, they can't help that they are hungry, need to be changed or any of the other things that can cause a baby to be upset. It is however amazing to me that people think its ok for me to hear their kids scream when I'm trying to listen to Father. I came to mass to hear the word, not to be distracted but a child playing around and not even understanding what's going on. My college Religion Professor Allan Eckellman, said the biggest mistake Christan's make is introducing their child to the church. Honestly, I have to agree with him. How can a person really be intunned with God, if this is what they have been conditioned to believe since birth. I will be introducing Miss Sofia, to different religions, however. I want her to be able to understand and respect another persons way of life. I think there is very low tolerance for what is unknown to us. Its becoming very apparent in the world today.
Events ( weddings, baby showers, parties etc) I think its very important to follow directions given to you by the person giving that event. If they tell you where they are registered, then that's what they want. Not what you want to give them (unless its money, no one has a problem with money). If it says ADULTS ONLY, then that's what it means, it doesn't mean , well I'm family they weren't talking to me, or we're really close. It means just that. I was having a conversation the other day and I mentioned that I wanted for both my baby shower and wedding to be children free. Well someone thought that it was appropriate for them to say " Well I'm bringing my baby" REALLY, YOU ARE! Well I guess who cares what the honoree wants. I said what I want and that's what I want.
Now my wedding has been in the works since I was about 4 years old. I have dreamed and dreamed about it. I also want this event to be child free. Someone said, "well you will have a child of your own" you are correct, I will have one and i will also have a babysitter and one for the rest of the wedding party that concists of children. I want adults to feel free of time restraints and for guest to be able to not have to worry about watching their kids and worrying about whether they are pulling decorations down or anything else of that matter.
I guess my question is, If I can follow the rules, why can't you. Again, if there is not indication other wise that children aren't barred from such events, then there is not really an issue. There are however, some places where parents need to act in a swiftly manner and head to the door with there little distractions.
I do however take issue when it come to public spaces. Yes, you have a child and you have a right to take them where you want to. Everyone has there own opinions on the matter, but I'm going to share with you mine. I would like to pose this quick question, what happen to the times of adult time and finding a babysitter? What happen to those days? I hate it when I go to the movies and there is a baby or child making noises( its inevitable) and for that matter adults who just can't shut up. Do you see this turning out ok for the rest of the theater, I don't. I won't ever be bringing my baby to the movies. I can perhaps see and probably will engaged in taking older children to see movies that are appropriate for them. If its a child's movie, why yes by all mean bring your spawn.
Restaurants! Can I eat my meal in piece. No I don't think its cool that your child is standing in the booth turned around and playing in my hair. No I don't its ok for your kid to throw a fit, and start screaming while I'm trying to enjoy my dinner. Again, if we are at Chuckie Cheese, or any other "child friendly" place, I have no issue. Its designed for children, no reason for me to be upset.
Church... I recently informed my family I will not be taking Sofia to Mass until she is old enough to control her behavior. I have sat in church one to many times with misbehaving children and whining babies. Honestly it's not the baby's fault, they can't help that they are hungry, need to be changed or any of the other things that can cause a baby to be upset. It is however amazing to me that people think its ok for me to hear their kids scream when I'm trying to listen to Father. I came to mass to hear the word, not to be distracted but a child playing around and not even understanding what's going on. My college Religion Professor Allan Eckellman, said the biggest mistake Christan's make is introducing their child to the church. Honestly, I have to agree with him. How can a person really be intunned with God, if this is what they have been conditioned to believe since birth. I will be introducing Miss Sofia, to different religions, however. I want her to be able to understand and respect another persons way of life. I think there is very low tolerance for what is unknown to us. Its becoming very apparent in the world today.
Events ( weddings, baby showers, parties etc) I think its very important to follow directions given to you by the person giving that event. If they tell you where they are registered, then that's what they want. Not what you want to give them (unless its money, no one has a problem with money). If it says ADULTS ONLY, then that's what it means, it doesn't mean , well I'm family they weren't talking to me, or we're really close. It means just that. I was having a conversation the other day and I mentioned that I wanted for both my baby shower and wedding to be children free. Well someone thought that it was appropriate for them to say " Well I'm bringing my baby" REALLY, YOU ARE! Well I guess who cares what the honoree wants. I said what I want and that's what I want.
Now my wedding has been in the works since I was about 4 years old. I have dreamed and dreamed about it. I also want this event to be child free. Someone said, "well you will have a child of your own" you are correct, I will have one and i will also have a babysitter and one for the rest of the wedding party that concists of children. I want adults to feel free of time restraints and for guest to be able to not have to worry about watching their kids and worrying about whether they are pulling decorations down or anything else of that matter.
I guess my question is, If I can follow the rules, why can't you. Again, if there is not indication other wise that children aren't barred from such events, then there is not really an issue. There are however, some places where parents need to act in a swiftly manner and head to the door with there little distractions.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
The Love Game, and is Glee turning our kids Gay?
I read an article today regarding Catholic Charities and civil unions.http://www.wisconsingazette.com/breaking-news/catholic-charities-threaten-to-cease-adoption-services-in-illinois.html
For me its a complicate situation. The Church has its stance and no one should really mess with that, but it they want to continue receiving money for the state, something has to change. I don's see the problem if they decide to break from the state, then they are free to make whatever decision they want regarding the matter.
At the end of the day people are going to have their opinions, but does that really matter when an innocent child isn't given the chance at a healthy home life
While I'm on the subject, Fox New pulled out a report claiming that Glee is turning our children gay. http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/05/04/glaad_fox_houston_glee_petition
If you must know, I burst out into laughter when I say that. I just couldn't hold myself together. I'm actually glad, that mainstream is becoming a place where anyone can find a character they can actually identify themselves with. Instead they wish to make statements asking is TV to Gay? What does that even mean. I'm not sure what television broadcasting they have been watching, but all I see are hetero themed shows.
There is always a bigger picture outside of our tiny little boxes that most of us choose to live in. Your tiny little picture can't grasp the importance of such a derogatory statement such as those. Many times some us forget that we were once on the other side of the picture, it was once women, minorities and others on that side. Fair, lets try to be fair, I don't understand how difficult that is. There was a time on television where there was a lack of women characters, black, Hispanic and other different backgrounds. Everyone deserves a place at the table. Just because you can't relate to a certain character doesn't me others don't and can't.
Its already hard enough growing up a teenager and knowing you are different, but have you had to or felt like you had to hide part of your identity.
I challenge everyone to look beyond what you see, and feel what is in a persons heart. Life is already complicated enough, why bother making it harder for someone else.
Love is all you need! Illionios is legalizing civil unions between homosexuals. ( yay) Win! Now here lies the problem, Catholic Charites Illionios is legalizing civil unions between homosexuals. ( yay) Win! Now here lies the problem, Catholic Charites will not be allowing same sex marriages to adopt childre, they do however allow married couples and single parents, who chose to raise the kids in seperate households to marry. I get it, I promise I get it, but I just am not ok with it. Children are the ones that will suffer. I personally would't give a two shits if both of my parents were the same gender. They love each other and they love me, so what seems to be the problem. Instead now, this will limit the amount of children that will go to loving homes.
Catholic Charities, which operates one of the largest adoption agencies in Illinois, is threatening to halt services in the state rather than comply with state law requiring the organization to place children with gay couples. The law goes into effect when same-sex civil unions become legal on June 1.
For me its a complicate situation. The Church has its stance and no one should really mess with that, but it they want to continue receiving money for the state, something has to change. I don's see the problem if they decide to break from the state, then they are free to make whatever decision they want regarding the matter.
At the end of the day people are going to have their opinions, but does that really matter when an innocent child isn't given the chance at a healthy home life
While I'm on the subject, Fox New pulled out a report claiming that Glee is turning our children gay. http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/05/04/glaad_fox_houston_glee_petition
If you must know, I burst out into laughter when I say that. I just couldn't hold myself together. I'm actually glad, that mainstream is becoming a place where anyone can find a character they can actually identify themselves with. Instead they wish to make statements asking is TV to Gay? What does that even mean. I'm not sure what television broadcasting they have been watching, but all I see are hetero themed shows.
There is always a bigger picture outside of our tiny little boxes that most of us choose to live in. Your tiny little picture can't grasp the importance of such a derogatory statement such as those. Many times some us forget that we were once on the other side of the picture, it was once women, minorities and others on that side. Fair, lets try to be fair, I don't understand how difficult that is. There was a time on television where there was a lack of women characters, black, Hispanic and other different backgrounds. Everyone deserves a place at the table. Just because you can't relate to a certain character doesn't me others don't and can't.
Its already hard enough growing up a teenager and knowing you are different, but have you had to or felt like you had to hide part of your identity.
I challenge everyone to look beyond what you see, and feel what is in a persons heart. Life is already complicated enough, why bother making it harder for someone else.
Love is all you need! Illionios is legalizing civil unions between homosexuals. ( yay) Win! Now here lies the problem, Catholic Charites Illionios is legalizing civil unions between homosexuals. ( yay) Win! Now here lies the problem, Catholic Charites will not be allowing same sex marriages to adopt childre, they do however allow married couples and single parents, who chose to raise the kids in seperate households to marry. I get it, I promise I get it, but I just am not ok with it. Children are the ones that will suffer. I personally would't give a two shits if both of my parents were the same gender. They love each other and they love me, so what seems to be the problem. Instead now, this will limit the amount of children that will go to loving homes.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The "Shower"
So yesterday was one of my very good friend's bridal showers. It had a very clean theme of Breakfast at Tiffany's. Tiffany Blue and diamonds were everywhere. It was really nice, Adrienne and Porcha did an awesome job. Everyone looked so mice in their black dresses.
Then the craziness started to happen. Adrienne asked us to share our happiest memory of Shenika. Adrienne went first and of course here come the damn tears. NOW... If you know me, you know I'm not a cry er. I have to be almost on fire mad before I even start thinking about shedding a tear. I couldn't help myself. It brought me back to my college days. That was my comfort zone. I had my friends and it was certain what I would be doing on any give day. I would be making dinner one day, I would go out with Adge and Shenika and we would have fun. We would spend hours in the mirror getting dress and putting on make up. Watching our reality shows such as "Flavor of Love." What happen to those days and where have they gone. I honestly miss them.
Yeah, sure everything wasn't always peachy, but I would have done any and everything for them. There are always moments you wish you had a delete button for. I also realized last night that not every two share the same memory the same. There is really something to be said about a persons perception and their reality. Something that may have been significant to me, may just be a sliver of a memory for someone else. I was unaware of a lot of things. Its true, though, there are always 3 sides to every story.
But here were are, at this shower sharing our memories, as i re live my past. It was almost as if it was 2006 again. Sitting around a room with friend, reminiscing on our shared history between 2003 and 2007. I felt as though we were back in Mississippi Hall, goofing off. We pick up almost like we had never left. I learned a lot in those 4 years. I grew up. I never thought that I would miss those years, but I do. I do wish I could shape it the way I want to, I would like to delete a few bad people and some bad days.
We then began to play games. The first was a scramble game. Jessica took the lead with that one. Who knew my brain would stop functioning when trying to unscramble there "wedding" words. Then there was the purse game. We grouped up with our tables, and of course being the throw everything but the kitchen sink in my purse type of girl I am, we won. It wasn't even me that made us win. I just had random shit in my purse. Then came the "How well do you know Shenika?" game. I wasn't sure how I would fair on this game. Yes, I spent practically an entire 4 years with this girl, but you never know everything, just like this game showed. I lost. I was pretty shocked. lol I swear she said Purple was her favorite color, but haha joke on me I guess not.
How well do you really know your friends.... ha ha
I'm glad I decided to go, even though I knew I needed to be sitting down writing my 2 fifteen page papers that were due...
Then the craziness started to happen. Adrienne asked us to share our happiest memory of Shenika. Adrienne went first and of course here come the damn tears. NOW... If you know me, you know I'm not a cry er. I have to be almost on fire mad before I even start thinking about shedding a tear. I couldn't help myself. It brought me back to my college days. That was my comfort zone. I had my friends and it was certain what I would be doing on any give day. I would be making dinner one day, I would go out with Adge and Shenika and we would have fun. We would spend hours in the mirror getting dress and putting on make up. Watching our reality shows such as "Flavor of Love." What happen to those days and where have they gone. I honestly miss them.
Yeah, sure everything wasn't always peachy, but I would have done any and everything for them. There are always moments you wish you had a delete button for. I also realized last night that not every two share the same memory the same. There is really something to be said about a persons perception and their reality. Something that may have been significant to me, may just be a sliver of a memory for someone else. I was unaware of a lot of things. Its true, though, there are always 3 sides to every story.
But here were are, at this shower sharing our memories, as i re live my past. It was almost as if it was 2006 again. Sitting around a room with friend, reminiscing on our shared history between 2003 and 2007. I felt as though we were back in Mississippi Hall, goofing off. We pick up almost like we had never left. I learned a lot in those 4 years. I grew up. I never thought that I would miss those years, but I do. I do wish I could shape it the way I want to, I would like to delete a few bad people and some bad days.
We then began to play games. The first was a scramble game. Jessica took the lead with that one. Who knew my brain would stop functioning when trying to unscramble there "wedding" words. Then there was the purse game. We grouped up with our tables, and of course being the throw everything but the kitchen sink in my purse type of girl I am, we won. It wasn't even me that made us win. I just had random shit in my purse. Then came the "How well do you know Shenika?" game. I wasn't sure how I would fair on this game. Yes, I spent practically an entire 4 years with this girl, but you never know everything, just like this game showed. I lost. I was pretty shocked. lol I swear she said Purple was her favorite color, but haha joke on me I guess not.
How well do you really know your friends.... ha ha
I'm glad I decided to go, even though I knew I needed to be sitting down writing my 2 fifteen page papers that were due...
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