Enough is enough

I'm going to vent on this one. It's a personal vent. Feel free to comment or post in response to what i have to say.

Any who, I've had enough. I've been a wet blanket for a long time, and I'm tired of it. I don't take up for myself enough. It's my fault I let it go on for this long. I let people walk all over me in the past, but I've had enough. I never let guys do me any kind of way, but I've let family and friends do it. I've let them say whatever they want, an treat me any kind of way. I just don't have the energy to care about pleasing other people anymore. Nothing will change unless I want it to. I'm going to stop caring about friendships that aren't their anymore, family members I've just grown apart from.
I've learned that you can't force relationships. It really doesn't matter how much history you have with a person, it can all go out the window one day. I'm a kind and gentle person. I can have a slight attitude sometimes, but it's not who I am. Most of the time instead of telling people how I really feel about something, I save face and say nothing. I let my insides burn, to keep other people from possibly feeling like crap. I do know however, for some people it doesn't matter if I told them how I really felt, that it would have much of a reaction from them anyway.
I've also learned it doesn't matter how much you are there for a person, you can still be placed on there back burner. I will not be neglected anymore. I do think its funny that a person can say and do me anything, but when I say something back, I'm the one with the problem, or  somehow I'm disrespecting them. Am I mistaken, but didn't you just come at me. ha.
I'm going to stop breaking my own heart. I may but to much stock into some of my relationships, maybe I expect to much out of them. In one of my recent classes, the guest speaker noted that you should treat people how THEY want to be treat, not how you want to be treat. Well I'm going to stop treating how I want to be treated, because at the end of the day, I hardly ever get treated the way I want to.
Apparently ignore isn't the best tool to use. I'm not sure which one is better. Reacting gets you stooping to their lever, but apparently ignoring does to. So I guess pretending is the way to go. That's where I have the problem. I was always trying to save face, and kiss other people's asses, but at the end of the day it still got me no where except for most of the time at an even lower playing field. Everyone experiences life differently.
I've come to learn that while some people may have good intentions, they fail horribly at delivery. Myself included.
I'm not really sure where this is going, because like I said I'm venting. I just needed to breathe and get some other this off my chest. Sometimes I think that living on an island alone would do me tremendous justice.

By the way being nice doesn't get me a damn place, except walked over. Oh, you're so nice, um ok and what's next, nothing.

I'll be back with something more positive hopefully next time . Until then.