On December 23rd, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I POAS and what do you know? Two lines appeared and I was shocked as can be. I guess it was the best Christmas present a mom could ask for. Even though I saw those two lines, I still didn't believe it.
I wanted to make sure everything was started early this time. I had a miscarriage in late September, early October of 2010. It broke my heart so bad, and was truly the worst time in my life. I never knew I could be so attached to something in such a short period of time, but I had been. I'd lost it, and I would never get to meet that baby on Earth. I loved it from the moment I found out. It wasn't just a clump of cells, it was apart of me. It was apart of Alex.
I made my first appointment. Soon after I went and they just talked to be, and checked me out. I started ( TMI WARNING )spotting the next week, I flipped out. I went in the next morning and the doctor check me out and said that my cervix, was just irritated. He squeezed me into an ultrasound anyway to make sure. I went in thinking I was around 9 weeks at this point. The ultrasound tech instantly said I wasn't anywhere 9 weeks and that I was more like 6 weeks. I turned blue, I just knew this wasn't happening to me again. I was 13 weeks last time when my uterus began expelling my child. She wiggled around some more and we learned that I was 7 weeks and 3 days, and what do you know. I heard little Sofia's heart beating away. She was pumping out a healthy 155 BPM. I instantly cried. I was so overwhelmed with joy, that I couldn't control myself.
The tech actually thought she saw a set of twin, but as you all know, there is only one. From that day on, I wanted to protect her from everything. I heard all that I needed to hear, and that was the heart. At around 8-10 weeks I began feeling the nausea, I could not even get out of bed I was feeling so sick. Lots of dry heaving, and nothing coming up. My head was spinning, smells were driving me crazy. My favorite foods became my worst enemy, and my favorite, Ice Cream, was a no go. I didn't even want it. I tried to force myself, it just wasn't happening! Then the throwing up started, I actually felt some relief from it. The dry heaving was stupid, and now I could actually get it out.
That didn't stop until after 20 weeks or so. At my 15 week appointment it took her a while to find the babies heart beating with the doppler, but we got it. I left all of my appointments a happy camper.
I'll be honest. I didn't really want to use the doctor's office. I wanted a midwife. I've done my research over the year, and I felt more comfortable going that route. After going to the doctor I just never felt comfortable with them. My doctor, just threw me to the side like old trash after the first 2 appointments, and sending me to the NP. That pretty much hurt. She was nice, but the wait was not worth the time spent in her office. I'd wait for over an hour just to be seen for 2 minutes.
My gender ultrasound was scheduled for my 19 week appointment. I had the feeling that this child growing inside my womb was a girl. I was right, My baby was a girl, and she was looking pretty healthy. I decided a few weeks earlier that I would go with my right mind, and I would have this baby via midwife. So after my 23 week appointment I officially made the switch to Sheridan at Garden Park.
Let me just tell you, I was totally caught off guard walking into the office. It wasn't very nice in the inside compared to that of Hattiesburg's office. The clients seemed very disshoveled among other things. The nurses had urine cups all lined up in the room in front of you, and that bathroom, well I'm not going to go into that. Well I met with Sheridan for the first time, and I instantly knew that I would love working with her. She talked to me forever, and answered any questions I had. I didn't feel rushed. Instead, I felt as though my birthing plan was going to go into action. We have a lot of the same goals as far as birthing my child. I was so happy we were/are on the same page.
So today I went in to take my glucose test with 4 other girls, 3 of which threw up and I passed mine with flying colors. At 11:15 I had an ultrasound. Sofia, was measuring a little ahead, and her legs were measuring 2 weeks ahead. YIKES I'm going to have a long baby girl, she also weighed 2 lbs and 7 oz
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Good, the Bad, and the Children
It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, my love for kids. I've been there done that. I've been the babysitter, the nanny, the "mom". I get it! They crack me up and are so adorable. Yes I am currently expected my first child, a girl named Sofia. They are the perfect little creations that we have produced. They can brighten up our lives and bring smiles to our faces when all hope is lost. They make me feel like a kid again, and remember what it was truly like to be innocent.
I do however take issue when it come to public spaces. Yes, you have a child and you have a right to take them where you want to. Everyone has there own opinions on the matter, but I'm going to share with you mine. I would like to pose this quick question, what happen to the times of adult time and finding a babysitter? What happen to those days? I hate it when I go to the movies and there is a baby or child making noises( its inevitable) and for that matter adults who just can't shut up. Do you see this turning out ok for the rest of the theater, I don't. I won't ever be bringing my baby to the movies. I can perhaps see and probably will engaged in taking older children to see movies that are appropriate for them. If its a child's movie, why yes by all mean bring your spawn.
Restaurants! Can I eat my meal in piece. No I don't think its cool that your child is standing in the booth turned around and playing in my hair. No I don't its ok for your kid to throw a fit, and start screaming while I'm trying to enjoy my dinner. Again, if we are at Chuckie Cheese, or any other "child friendly" place, I have no issue. Its designed for children, no reason for me to be upset.
Church... I recently informed my family I will not be taking Sofia to Mass until she is old enough to control her behavior. I have sat in church one to many times with misbehaving children and whining babies. Honestly it's not the baby's fault, they can't help that they are hungry, need to be changed or any of the other things that can cause a baby to be upset. It is however amazing to me that people think its ok for me to hear their kids scream when I'm trying to listen to Father. I came to mass to hear the word, not to be distracted but a child playing around and not even understanding what's going on. My college Religion Professor Allan Eckellman, said the biggest mistake Christan's make is introducing their child to the church. Honestly, I have to agree with him. How can a person really be intunned with God, if this is what they have been conditioned to believe since birth. I will be introducing Miss Sofia, to different religions, however. I want her to be able to understand and respect another persons way of life. I think there is very low tolerance for what is unknown to us. Its becoming very apparent in the world today.
Events ( weddings, baby showers, parties etc) I think its very important to follow directions given to you by the person giving that event. If they tell you where they are registered, then that's what they want. Not what you want to give them (unless its money, no one has a problem with money). If it says ADULTS ONLY, then that's what it means, it doesn't mean , well I'm family they weren't talking to me, or we're really close. It means just that. I was having a conversation the other day and I mentioned that I wanted for both my baby shower and wedding to be children free. Well someone thought that it was appropriate for them to say " Well I'm bringing my baby" REALLY, YOU ARE! Well I guess who cares what the honoree wants. I said what I want and that's what I want.
Now my wedding has been in the works since I was about 4 years old. I have dreamed and dreamed about it. I also want this event to be child free. Someone said, "well you will have a child of your own" you are correct, I will have one and i will also have a babysitter and one for the rest of the wedding party that concists of children. I want adults to feel free of time restraints and for guest to be able to not have to worry about watching their kids and worrying about whether they are pulling decorations down or anything else of that matter.
I guess my question is, If I can follow the rules, why can't you. Again, if there is not indication other wise that children aren't barred from such events, then there is not really an issue. There are however, some places where parents need to act in a swiftly manner and head to the door with there little distractions.
I do however take issue when it come to public spaces. Yes, you have a child and you have a right to take them where you want to. Everyone has there own opinions on the matter, but I'm going to share with you mine. I would like to pose this quick question, what happen to the times of adult time and finding a babysitter? What happen to those days? I hate it when I go to the movies and there is a baby or child making noises( its inevitable) and for that matter adults who just can't shut up. Do you see this turning out ok for the rest of the theater, I don't. I won't ever be bringing my baby to the movies. I can perhaps see and probably will engaged in taking older children to see movies that are appropriate for them. If its a child's movie, why yes by all mean bring your spawn.
Restaurants! Can I eat my meal in piece. No I don't think its cool that your child is standing in the booth turned around and playing in my hair. No I don't its ok for your kid to throw a fit, and start screaming while I'm trying to enjoy my dinner. Again, if we are at Chuckie Cheese, or any other "child friendly" place, I have no issue. Its designed for children, no reason for me to be upset.
Church... I recently informed my family I will not be taking Sofia to Mass until she is old enough to control her behavior. I have sat in church one to many times with misbehaving children and whining babies. Honestly it's not the baby's fault, they can't help that they are hungry, need to be changed or any of the other things that can cause a baby to be upset. It is however amazing to me that people think its ok for me to hear their kids scream when I'm trying to listen to Father. I came to mass to hear the word, not to be distracted but a child playing around and not even understanding what's going on. My college Religion Professor Allan Eckellman, said the biggest mistake Christan's make is introducing their child to the church. Honestly, I have to agree with him. How can a person really be intunned with God, if this is what they have been conditioned to believe since birth. I will be introducing Miss Sofia, to different religions, however. I want her to be able to understand and respect another persons way of life. I think there is very low tolerance for what is unknown to us. Its becoming very apparent in the world today.
Events ( weddings, baby showers, parties etc) I think its very important to follow directions given to you by the person giving that event. If they tell you where they are registered, then that's what they want. Not what you want to give them (unless its money, no one has a problem with money). If it says ADULTS ONLY, then that's what it means, it doesn't mean , well I'm family they weren't talking to me, or we're really close. It means just that. I was having a conversation the other day and I mentioned that I wanted for both my baby shower and wedding to be children free. Well someone thought that it was appropriate for them to say " Well I'm bringing my baby" REALLY, YOU ARE! Well I guess who cares what the honoree wants. I said what I want and that's what I want.
Now my wedding has been in the works since I was about 4 years old. I have dreamed and dreamed about it. I also want this event to be child free. Someone said, "well you will have a child of your own" you are correct, I will have one and i will also have a babysitter and one for the rest of the wedding party that concists of children. I want adults to feel free of time restraints and for guest to be able to not have to worry about watching their kids and worrying about whether they are pulling decorations down or anything else of that matter.
I guess my question is, If I can follow the rules, why can't you. Again, if there is not indication other wise that children aren't barred from such events, then there is not really an issue. There are however, some places where parents need to act in a swiftly manner and head to the door with there little distractions.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
The Love Game, and is Glee turning our kids Gay?
I read an article today regarding Catholic Charities and civil unions.http://www.wisconsingazette.com/breaking-news/catholic-charities-threaten-to-cease-adoption-services-in-illinois.html
For me its a complicate situation. The Church has its stance and no one should really mess with that, but it they want to continue receiving money for the state, something has to change. I don's see the problem if they decide to break from the state, then they are free to make whatever decision they want regarding the matter.
At the end of the day people are going to have their opinions, but does that really matter when an innocent child isn't given the chance at a healthy home life
While I'm on the subject, Fox New pulled out a report claiming that Glee is turning our children gay. http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/05/04/glaad_fox_houston_glee_petition
If you must know, I burst out into laughter when I say that. I just couldn't hold myself together. I'm actually glad, that mainstream is becoming a place where anyone can find a character they can actually identify themselves with. Instead they wish to make statements asking is TV to Gay? What does that even mean. I'm not sure what television broadcasting they have been watching, but all I see are hetero themed shows.
There is always a bigger picture outside of our tiny little boxes that most of us choose to live in. Your tiny little picture can't grasp the importance of such a derogatory statement such as those. Many times some us forget that we were once on the other side of the picture, it was once women, minorities and others on that side. Fair, lets try to be fair, I don't understand how difficult that is. There was a time on television where there was a lack of women characters, black, Hispanic and other different backgrounds. Everyone deserves a place at the table. Just because you can't relate to a certain character doesn't me others don't and can't.
Its already hard enough growing up a teenager and knowing you are different, but have you had to or felt like you had to hide part of your identity.
I challenge everyone to look beyond what you see, and feel what is in a persons heart. Life is already complicated enough, why bother making it harder for someone else.
Love is all you need! Illionios is legalizing civil unions between homosexuals. ( yay) Win! Now here lies the problem, Catholic Charites Illionios is legalizing civil unions between homosexuals. ( yay) Win! Now here lies the problem, Catholic Charites will not be allowing same sex marriages to adopt childre, they do however allow married couples and single parents, who chose to raise the kids in seperate households to marry. I get it, I promise I get it, but I just am not ok with it. Children are the ones that will suffer. I personally would't give a two shits if both of my parents were the same gender. They love each other and they love me, so what seems to be the problem. Instead now, this will limit the amount of children that will go to loving homes.
Catholic Charities, which operates one of the largest adoption agencies in Illinois, is threatening to halt services in the state rather than comply with state law requiring the organization to place children with gay couples. The law goes into effect when same-sex civil unions become legal on June 1.
For me its a complicate situation. The Church has its stance and no one should really mess with that, but it they want to continue receiving money for the state, something has to change. I don's see the problem if they decide to break from the state, then they are free to make whatever decision they want regarding the matter.
At the end of the day people are going to have their opinions, but does that really matter when an innocent child isn't given the chance at a healthy home life
While I'm on the subject, Fox New pulled out a report claiming that Glee is turning our children gay. http://www.salon.com/entertainment/tv/feature/2011/05/04/glaad_fox_houston_glee_petition
If you must know, I burst out into laughter when I say that. I just couldn't hold myself together. I'm actually glad, that mainstream is becoming a place where anyone can find a character they can actually identify themselves with. Instead they wish to make statements asking is TV to Gay? What does that even mean. I'm not sure what television broadcasting they have been watching, but all I see are hetero themed shows.
There is always a bigger picture outside of our tiny little boxes that most of us choose to live in. Your tiny little picture can't grasp the importance of such a derogatory statement such as those. Many times some us forget that we were once on the other side of the picture, it was once women, minorities and others on that side. Fair, lets try to be fair, I don't understand how difficult that is. There was a time on television where there was a lack of women characters, black, Hispanic and other different backgrounds. Everyone deserves a place at the table. Just because you can't relate to a certain character doesn't me others don't and can't.
Its already hard enough growing up a teenager and knowing you are different, but have you had to or felt like you had to hide part of your identity.
I challenge everyone to look beyond what you see, and feel what is in a persons heart. Life is already complicated enough, why bother making it harder for someone else.
Love is all you need! Illionios is legalizing civil unions between homosexuals. ( yay) Win! Now here lies the problem, Catholic Charites Illionios is legalizing civil unions between homosexuals. ( yay) Win! Now here lies the problem, Catholic Charites will not be allowing same sex marriages to adopt childre, they do however allow married couples and single parents, who chose to raise the kids in seperate households to marry. I get it, I promise I get it, but I just am not ok with it. Children are the ones that will suffer. I personally would't give a two shits if both of my parents were the same gender. They love each other and they love me, so what seems to be the problem. Instead now, this will limit the amount of children that will go to loving homes.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The "Shower"
So yesterday was one of my very good friend's bridal showers. It had a very clean theme of Breakfast at Tiffany's. Tiffany Blue and diamonds were everywhere. It was really nice, Adrienne and Porcha did an awesome job. Everyone looked so mice in their black dresses.
Then the craziness started to happen. Adrienne asked us to share our happiest memory of Shenika. Adrienne went first and of course here come the damn tears. NOW... If you know me, you know I'm not a cry er. I have to be almost on fire mad before I even start thinking about shedding a tear. I couldn't help myself. It brought me back to my college days. That was my comfort zone. I had my friends and it was certain what I would be doing on any give day. I would be making dinner one day, I would go out with Adge and Shenika and we would have fun. We would spend hours in the mirror getting dress and putting on make up. Watching our reality shows such as "Flavor of Love." What happen to those days and where have they gone. I honestly miss them.
Yeah, sure everything wasn't always peachy, but I would have done any and everything for them. There are always moments you wish you had a delete button for. I also realized last night that not every two share the same memory the same. There is really something to be said about a persons perception and their reality. Something that may have been significant to me, may just be a sliver of a memory for someone else. I was unaware of a lot of things. Its true, though, there are always 3 sides to every story.
But here were are, at this shower sharing our memories, as i re live my past. It was almost as if it was 2006 again. Sitting around a room with friend, reminiscing on our shared history between 2003 and 2007. I felt as though we were back in Mississippi Hall, goofing off. We pick up almost like we had never left. I learned a lot in those 4 years. I grew up. I never thought that I would miss those years, but I do. I do wish I could shape it the way I want to, I would like to delete a few bad people and some bad days.
We then began to play games. The first was a scramble game. Jessica took the lead with that one. Who knew my brain would stop functioning when trying to unscramble there "wedding" words. Then there was the purse game. We grouped up with our tables, and of course being the throw everything but the kitchen sink in my purse type of girl I am, we won. It wasn't even me that made us win. I just had random shit in my purse. Then came the "How well do you know Shenika?" game. I wasn't sure how I would fair on this game. Yes, I spent practically an entire 4 years with this girl, but you never know everything, just like this game showed. I lost. I was pretty shocked. lol I swear she said Purple was her favorite color, but haha joke on me I guess not.
How well do you really know your friends.... ha ha
I'm glad I decided to go, even though I knew I needed to be sitting down writing my 2 fifteen page papers that were due...
Then the craziness started to happen. Adrienne asked us to share our happiest memory of Shenika. Adrienne went first and of course here come the damn tears. NOW... If you know me, you know I'm not a cry er. I have to be almost on fire mad before I even start thinking about shedding a tear. I couldn't help myself. It brought me back to my college days. That was my comfort zone. I had my friends and it was certain what I would be doing on any give day. I would be making dinner one day, I would go out with Adge and Shenika and we would have fun. We would spend hours in the mirror getting dress and putting on make up. Watching our reality shows such as "Flavor of Love." What happen to those days and where have they gone. I honestly miss them.
Yeah, sure everything wasn't always peachy, but I would have done any and everything for them. There are always moments you wish you had a delete button for. I also realized last night that not every two share the same memory the same. There is really something to be said about a persons perception and their reality. Something that may have been significant to me, may just be a sliver of a memory for someone else. I was unaware of a lot of things. Its true, though, there are always 3 sides to every story.
But here were are, at this shower sharing our memories, as i re live my past. It was almost as if it was 2006 again. Sitting around a room with friend, reminiscing on our shared history between 2003 and 2007. I felt as though we were back in Mississippi Hall, goofing off. We pick up almost like we had never left. I learned a lot in those 4 years. I grew up. I never thought that I would miss those years, but I do. I do wish I could shape it the way I want to, I would like to delete a few bad people and some bad days.
We then began to play games. The first was a scramble game. Jessica took the lead with that one. Who knew my brain would stop functioning when trying to unscramble there "wedding" words. Then there was the purse game. We grouped up with our tables, and of course being the throw everything but the kitchen sink in my purse type of girl I am, we won. It wasn't even me that made us win. I just had random shit in my purse. Then came the "How well do you know Shenika?" game. I wasn't sure how I would fair on this game. Yes, I spent practically an entire 4 years with this girl, but you never know everything, just like this game showed. I lost. I was pretty shocked. lol I swear she said Purple was her favorite color, but haha joke on me I guess not.
How well do you really know your friends.... ha ha
I'm glad I decided to go, even though I knew I needed to be sitting down writing my 2 fifteen page papers that were due...
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